The Man She Loves Died In Her Arms

“He died on the following Tuesday, so it was Tuesday the 15th of September. It is still incredibly raw. It was as peaceful as it could be. We were surrounded by all our friends and family. I was in the bed with Ross, and my arms were around him at the time, and all his family were there as well. His mom and dad, and his brother and his partner were all there, and we were all holding him, and we told him it’s okay and that we would be okay,”

Those are some of heart-breaking words of Lorna Coffey whose fiancé Sergeant Ross Dunne who died earlier this year.

The Blarney woman who lost her fiancé to cancer just months before their dream Christmas wedding has paid a moving tribute to the man she describes as her soulmate, while raising funds for the hospice team who cared for him in his final days.

They had fallen deeply in love while serving together as Irish Defence Forces peacekeepers in Lebanon in 2023. They shared dreams of a home, a family and a wedding planned for Christmas this year.

But in January of this year , their world was turned upside down when Ross was diagnosed with cancer at just 28 years of age.

After months of fighting the disease with extraordinary courage, Ross sadly passed away in September, leaving Lorna, his family and friends heartbroken.

Now, Lorna is determined to ensure that Ross is remembered not for the illness that took his life, but for the remarkable man he was.

“ I don’t want Ross to be defined as the person who had cancer. I want Ross to be remembered as the courageous, brave, funny, loving character he was.”

Lorna, is now fundraising for Our Lady’s Hospice & Care Services in gratitude for the care and compassion shown to Ross during his final days.

Their love story began in Lebanon.

Ross, who was from Dublin, first spotted Lorna when she arrived in Lebanon in 2023.

According to Lorna, he fancied her from the moment she stepped off the plane, although it took him two weeks to pluck up the courage to ask her for a coffee.

Recalling their first encounter, Lorna said:

“He was asking the women staying in the rooms with me and stuff if they’d go out for a coffee and, ‘Can you ask the new girl if she’ll come out for a coffee as well?’ So that’s the way that went. And then finally, he worked up the courage to come up to me in the gym, because I kept declining the coffee. But unfortunately for Ross, I had big headphones on and i could not hear him”

“So I was in the middle of doing a deadlift, and when I stood up and I looked straight ahead of me, I could just see this beautiful man standing in front of me, tattooed from head to toe. I could just see his lips moving, but I didn’t have a clue what he was saying. So yeah, it was from then that I said, ‘Look, I’ll give him a chance. I’ll go out for a coffee.’ And sure, I haven’t regretted it since.”

That coffee marked the beginning of a relationship that would change both their lives.

When they returned home from Lebanon on leave in September 2023, Ross asked Lorna to be his girlfriend.

From there, their relationship blossomed. They loved travelling together, spending time with family and friends, and enjoying the simple things that made their lives special.

For Lorna, some of their happiest memories were made at the cinema, simply sitting together and enjoying each other’s company.

She described a relationship built on laughter, friendship and a love that never needed grand gestures.

“We were true soulmates, and we could be alone for hours and that would be our happy place. We could just speak and laugh. I’ve never had anybody make me laugh as much as Ross could. He was an incredible, incredible person, and I’ll never forget a minute of what we had.”

The couple also shared their home with a much-loved little puppy, Diego, a seven-month-old British bulldog who is now being lovingly cared for by Ross’s parents, Sharon and Peter.

Even in the middle of her grief, Lorna spoke warmly about the family who have rallied around her and the puppy who remains a precious part of their story.

In November 2024, Ross and Lorna returned to Lebanon for another deployment, this time for a full year.

They had a goal: to save enough money to buy a house and begin building their future together.

During a period back home in May 2025, Ross proposed to Lorna.

It was a moment that marked the beginning of an exciting new chapter, with the couple looking forward to their wedding at Christmas and everything that would follow.

But after getting engaged, they had to return to Lebanon the very next day to continue their service.

Around that time, Ross began experiencing head and back pain.

Initially, the couple had no idea how serious things would become. But when they finally returned home from Lebanon late last year, his discomfort had become increasingly persistent.

Ross went to see his doctor, and following further investigations, the devastating news came in January 2026.

At just 28, he had oesophageal cancer that had spread to his liver.

“So he got the results for his bloods back and the doctor had recommended that he go to the hospital. I was in Cork at the time, and his dad brought him into the A&E in Tallaght Hospital. And I was driving up the road, and he just rang me and said, ‘Look, can you come as quick as you can?’

“And by the time I got into the hospital, he was in the hospital bed. I knew there was something up. And all his family had left the room, and it was there when he told me.

“So there was something in his oesophagus, and then they did scans on his liver. First they thought it could be fatty liver, or they didn’t know what it was, so they were doing more tests. So at that time, the doctor had suspected that there was something there and it might be sinister, but they weren’t 100% of answers as of yet

“So it was in that time we spent a week in Tallaght Hospital, and they did every test under the sun, and it was when they came back that it was confirmed that he had oesophageal cancer that had metastasised to the liver.”

The wedding, the house, the children they had talked about naming and all the ordinary moments they had imagined sharing were suddenly overshadowed by a fight for Ross’s life.

“Yeah, it was incredibly hard. We had spent so much time together, you know, planning a future and, you know, picking out kids’ names and planning our wedding,” she said.

The treatment was difficult, but those who loved him saw the same spirit that had drawn Lorna to him in the first place.

He continued to put on a brave face, talking, laughing and joking with family and friends despite the battle he was facing.

For Lorna, that courage was a defining part of the man she loved.

Sadly, Ross’s health began to deteriorate further in August.

He was referred to the palliative care team at Our Lady’s Hospice & Care Services, whose staff worked to make him comfortable and give the couple as much precious time together as possible.

In early September, Ross was admitted to the hospice. Lorna was told that he might have only a few weeks left.

“I was holding the man I love, but I was holding myself as strong as I could be, because I never wanted Ross to be afraid. I never wanted Ross to be scared. He was so courageous that I wanted him to remain that way, you know. So when we went into Our Lady’s Hospice, all I can describe there is that the staff are absolutely incredible.

“We went in on a Thursday, and that day we went in, we had close family members around us and whatever, and Ross was still with us at that time. He was still able to talk and laugh and joke – so much so to the fact that when all his family started coming in, he said, ‘I should have been admitted to another hospital.’ And they said, ‘Why?’ And he said, ‘Because there’s only one visitor allowed!’ That was just him, he was so funny.”

Even as his illness progressed, Ross’s humour remained.

It was a glimpse of the personality Lorna wants the world to remember: a man who could make people laugh, who loved being surrounded by those closest to him and who continued to bring joy into a room even during the darkest days of his life.

The hospice staff arranged a double bed and a television so Ross and Lorna could spend their time together in comfort.

They watched films, relaxed in each other’s company and held on to the moments they still had.

It was a simple gesture, but one that meant everything to a couple who had spent years dreaming about the life they would build together.

For Lorna, the hospice gave them something precious: the chance to be together as a couple, surrounded by love, when time had become painfully short.

Ross passed away on Tuesday, September 15, surrounded by the people who loved him.

Lorna was beside him, holding him in her arms, as members of his family gathered around them.

It was a heartbreaking goodbye, but one filled with tenderness and love.

“He died on the following Tuesday, so it was Tuesday the 15th of September. It is still incredibly raw. It was as peaceful as it could be. We were surrounded by all our friends and family. I was in the bed with Ross, and my arms were around him at the time, and all his family were there as well. His mom and dad, and his brother and his partner were all there, and we were all holding him, and we told him it’s okay and that we would be okay,” Lorna said.

Those final moments were a world away from the Christmas wedding they had imagined.

Instead of celebrating the start of their married life, Lorna was saying goodbye to her fiancé.

But the love they shared, the memories they made and the laughter that filled their relationship remain with her.

And while the grief is still raw, she is determined to turn some of that pain into something positive.

Lorna has launched a fundraising campaign for Our Lady’s Hospice & Care Services to thank the team who cared for Ross and supported them both during an unimaginably difficult time.

She hopes the money raised will help the hospice continue its work supporting patients and families when they need it most.

A charity quiz for Ross’s family and friends will take place on Friday, December 4, at the Muskerry Arms in Blarney.

For those who cannot attend but would like to support the campaign, donations can be made through Lorna’s iDonate fundraising page. https://www.idonate.ie/fundraiser/lornacoffey1

Ross may not have lived to see the Christmas wedding he and Lorna had planned, but his story is one of love, courage, laughter and the extraordinary difference one person can make to the lives of those around them.

And as Lorna faces life without her soulmate, she is determined that his memory will live on for all the right reasons.

Sergeant Ross Dunne was laid to rest with full military honours.