Nearly 20 years after moving to South Korea, Cork psychologist Warren Neiland is helping reshape how young people think about mental health. As a school wellbeing counsellor, he champions a strength-based approach that encourages children to focus not on what’s wrong with them, but on what’s right.
Originally from Mayfield, Warren had lots of experience living abroad. He first moved to the United States at 10 years old, and spent time in both Ireland and America before settling down for college in the States.
Warren had been studying medicine when he experienced a life-changing event, his lung collapsed spontaneously. This health event was a realisation for Warren, he didn’t know where his life was going.
“Because my lung collapsed, I got a new kind of perspective in life.”
He decided to take some time off and coach soccer in Australia when he came across a Craigslist ad.
“I needed a bit of money before I went.”
Warren found a job teaching English in South Korea, with free flights and accommodation.
“I came here in December 2006… I fell in love, met a girl after a month, and got married.”
“Never made it to Australia. Not even a holiday.”
Although he had arrived in Korea to teach English, it wasn’t long before he found his way back to the career that had always driven him, supporting young people’s mental wellbeing.
While in the US, Warren had been working as a therapist with at-risk young people, supporting transitions from detention back to their homes. The typical risk factors applied, things like drugs and violence were issues Warren dealt with.
When he arrived in South Korea, however, he discovered that vulnerability often looked very different.
“They’ve got the straight A’s, they’ve got the perfect SAT scores,” he says. “But what we don’t see is underlying issues, and the self harm, and the suicidal ideation that comes with those high expectations and that low level of confidence.”
Despite students appearing to excel academically, South Korea continues to grapple with one of the highest suicide rates among developed nations—a reality Warren sees reflected in his work with young people.
“They’ve lacked coping skills to deal with what’s going on. They don’t understand, and so that is high here in Korea. We’ve one of the highest numbers in suicide rates.”
Wellbeing is becoming more mainstream in South Korea, and there are great efforts being made to break down stigma around mental health.
Those experiences ultimately led Warren towards positive psychology, an approach that focuses on building strengths rather than dwelling on weaknesses.This approach says it’s not about what’s wrong with you, it’s about what’s right with you.
“Where are my strengths?”
“You’ve got ADHD, great! You can multitask.”
Warren teaches his students essential coping skills, they wear bracelets as a reminder that it’s okay not to be okay. Being open about wellbeing helps it become less taboo for students.
“They’re saying this is what’s wrong with me. I’ve got this, but it’s a challenge. It should be always reframed as a challenge.”
His philosophy extends far beyond the counselling room.
Drawing from his years as a soccer coach, Warren often compares mental wellbeing to athletic training.
“Letting them understand that you can only get so fast, you can only get so strong. At a certain point, you need that mental capacity to take you to the next stage.”
This makes wellbeing more engaging for kids, they look forward to talking with counsellors about whatever is affecting them.
From the very beginning of their school experience, Warren teaches children breathing exercises. They have reminders on their desks that teach them box breathing and other coping skills.
“We teach these basic skills at an early age, just like you teach reading and writing, and it will help for sure.”
His commitment to wellbeing doesn’t stop at school. Outside the classroom, Warren volunteers with the Irish Association Korea (IAK), where he helps organise the annual Solas wellbeing walk. Just like Darkness into Light, Irish people across South Korea have their own walk to raise awareness and funds for mental health.
“It’s not just for the Irish community; it’s for everyone.”
For Irish people abroad, the Solas walk is a way to connect to your heritage, and show people a little bit of your own culture.
The IAK and the Irish Embassy are also helping Irish people in South Korea to get little tastes of home.
“You can even get Murphy’s in a can.”
“We actually brought spiced beef back years ago… we vacuum packed it, and I kept it for Christmas.”
When Warren first moved to Korea he couldn’t even get cheese, now he can buy Cadbury chocolate and Irish beef.
While those familiar comforts are easier to find today, it was the people, not the food, that truly convinced Warren to stay.
Today, almost 20 years after arriving in South Korea with no long-term plan, Warren says he can’t imagine calling anywhere else home.
One of the things that helped with his transition was the warmth of the people he met. Arriving with little Korean and no idea what to expect, he quickly found locals willing to help him navigate everyday life.
“I found the people to be really welcoming,” he says. “I’d go into restaurants with not a clue what I was looking at. I’d point at pictures or rub my stomach to ask for food, and people were always happy to help.”
Over the years, Korea has become more than just the place where he built a career. It’s where he met his wife, where they’re raising their daughter, and where he has dedicated himself to supporting young people’s wellbeing. While Cork will always hold a special place in his heart, the life he has built in Seoul makes the idea of leaving increasingly difficult.
“I love Korea,” he says. “As much as I’d love to go home to Ireland, I just don’t think I could. I think I’ve been away too long now.”
For Warren, what began as a temporary stop on the way to Australia became the journey of a lifetime. Nearly two decades on, he’s helping shape a new generation’s understanding of mental health in the country that welcomed him with open arms—and that, he says, is home.
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